There is no one single descriptor for an occupation that many would view as a dream job. Responsible and dedicated personal driver, sometimes assistant, occasional bodyguard, competitive paddle tennis player, spirited cut throat UNO® card player and a continuous juggler of other non-spoken duties were the major responsibilities compromising my dream job. All of these things and more were intrinsic to the nature of employment with and for Al Pacino.
My time with Al Pacino began in 1982 just prior to the start of filming Scarface and it lasted beyond the wrap of Heat in 1995. For many years following
thoughts of compiling a memoir of my experience surfaced and sank many times. Reflections would arise over the years on what it was all about, what was the impact of being in the presence of
such a brilliant artist as Al Pacino every day. During the years of my employment with Al, many people asked: "How did you land such a dream job?" "What’s he really like?" "What do you
guys talk about?" "What do you do for him exactly?" "How does working for him affect your life?" "What’s it like to work for someone of such acclaim and fame?" Even one overzealous admirer asked,
"Can you give me a piece of Al's clothing or a used bath towel of his that I can have, please? I'll give you my address where you can send it." Working with Al was a world unto itself.
Uh, no.
How many people in their day to day employment get asked by someone for their boss's used bath towel?!
I did.
Since our working relationship ended, I’ve gone through a continuous process of vacillation, also experienced as agitation. Every lame excuse not to do it surfaced and resurfaced. “I’m not a writer.”, “I don’t want to learn to write.”, “It wouldn’t be that interesting of a story.”, “That phase of my life was so significant yet so private, and for so many reasons, it should stay that way." "Am I unconsciously still holding onto that deep sense of loyalty to Al? Is that what's holding me back?” Blah, blah, blah. I was finding every reason why I should not do it.
Just as strongly, surfacing and resurfacing was every reason to write about this robust adventure and all of the experiences and insights that occurred along the way and well after. “Yes, it would be that interesting of a story!”, “What happened at various times and how the effect of those experiences is rich with life and lessons.”, “I experienced things that I might never have had the opportunity to experience.” “Yes, Al cast me in the documentary film he produced and directed, Looking for Richard." "What was it like to work with him and be directed by him? Must have been a quite the moment in your life!” “Well, let me tell you what it was like to work with Al Pacino”, “It was a real life coming of age story, with unexpected challenges. Fighting and clawing like hell against them and ultimately defeating them with sheer will, force, ingenuity and panic. And I'm doing it all on my own with little to no assistance.”
This is a tale of a journey of self knowledge and self discovery that forced me to shed my naïveté. "Others might learn something from these experiences. And it will be highly entertaining, to say the least."
Not that anything they might say would persuade me one way or the other - It didn’t, I spoke to family and friends about embarking on such a literary journey just to get
their input. Though they had fun encouraging me with titillating expressions of, “Oh, yes, do it! The little you’ve shared about your time with him will make people want to know more.” “Without a doubt,
it’d be a fascinating story, no doubt.” “People would be hungry to know what it’s like to work for Al Pacino! Tony Montana too! Chico!” And so on and so forth.
As supportive as they were, nothing they said, was going to sway me either way, though, I sort of hoped it would. The ultimate decision was mine alone, It was as much fun for me to ask as it was
for them to give their thoughts on the matter. I would sometimes tell a tidbit of a memory, never telling all of it, and they’d say in curious anticipation, “And? And what happened then?! Tell
us! Don’t leave us hanging!” I’d reply, “And nothing. You’ll have to wait for the book that I’m never going to write.” A chorus of exasperated groans was heard all around us with me leading the
choir.
There were some, though not many, who were not interested at all. They obviously weren’t intrigued or even curious about life with such a powerful figure and artist as Al. I sort of sided with them. They were the rain on my parade that was, at times, welcomed as maybe my way out. They, too, had no sway over me in terms of making a decision.
There was a lot to go through and consider. Do I really want to relive it? Do I really want to recreate all of those memories so I can write in sensory detail about them? Another consideration was how this would be received by others involved. Even, though it was a chapter in my life long over. Life has its own way of ordering things, and it seems that there were other occurrences needed to help prepare for this undertaking.
The lessons that needed to be learned were learned in spades. Aspects of myself that needed to be faced, were faced to great degrees. Those lessons I learned and faced are with me even to this day. They were pivotal in shaping me. Fate, like a sculptor working with clay, molded me into the person I am today.
But the memories live on. Most quite vividly as if they happened yesterday or even earlier today. Experiences that impact your life on all levels from all directions can do that to you.
This dream job had its good and very good days, as well as its bad and very bad days…
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